American Beauties

Looking for the Secret, Searching for the Sound

Peter Hanson was a freshman in high school when older sister Kathy brought him to the Dead at the Hartford Civic Center. “They played ‘Not Fade Away’ and he jumped up, was hanging over the balcony, clapping” she laughs, “And that was it! He was a deadhead!”

In an analogue era, the newly initiated would seek out older, more seasoned heads to score tapes, and catch rides. Seth Ginsberg was a popular junior who gave Hanson a copy of 8/13/75 and a passport to the world. “We basically adopted him.” Ginsberg explains emphatically, “You have to understand, we grew up in Connecticut in the 80s. We spent our entire childhood running around following the Grateful Dead.”

It’s The Real Thing, or Close Enough to Pretend

In the off-season, Hanson would scour the shelves of Tower Records for copies of Relix Magazine; a pre-internet lifeline to the music, magic and community of Grateful Dead culture. Through snail mail and show meetups he joined the underground network of tape traders. “One time he was like, ‘I have to go to the post office, I have to send this back to Germany’” A high school friend laughs, “I was like ‘how do you know someone from Germany?!’”

Peter convinced his parents Lee and Eunice to convert their basement into a hang out, where the highschoolers’ motto was, “Dark Star On, Lights Off.” Classmate Rich Gordon explains, “Because of him, we got every show within a couple of months of the tour. We’d play the whole tape. There would be 20 of us dancing, singing, having this mini show experience and his parents would be upstairs in the living room, drinking coffee watching The Love Boat.”

Hanson earned enough ten-dollar bills to buy Sony TC-D5M and Marantz PMD 430 tape decks, with accompanying Nakimichi Shotgun mics. “Pete was a taper before there was even a taping section.” Rich notes proudly. His 90-minute Maxell MXs were meticulously filed in drawers in a massive library card catalogue. The system was chronological noting source, generation, gear, and Peter’s personalized rating. Favorites included Englishtown 9/3/77, Harpur College 5/2/70, MIT 5/6/70, Maples Pavillion 2/9/73 and the Fillmore East Suite.

Strangers Stopping Strangers

A few years later, self-proclaimed bad-boy Trent was sitting in the back of the school bus smoking cigarettes, listening to the Sex Pistols. He was intrigued by the upperclassman in the tie-dye with the Walkman and asked, “What are you listening to?” before long Trent was at his first show, “At 15!” he says enthusiastically.

Lee and Eunice loaded the boys into their wood paneled Ford Squire Station Wagon. In the back row, that faced out the rear window onto the Merritt Parkway Trent lamented, “How are we ever going to find your parents after the show for pick up?” Peter responded, “Ah, let’s not worry about it. Your mind is gonna get totally blown away.” “And it totally did!” Trent exclaims.

They landed on the floor, and then the rail, and in years to come backstage, where band, crew and management met Peter with an open smile. “I mean the best place to watch the show is behind Billy and Mickey.” Trent says with matter-of-fact humility.

There’s a Dragon with Matches, That’s Loose on the Town

Peter studied English at Northeastern University where he managed to tour, tape and get straight A’s. He borrowed his parent’s wood paneled wagon, with one stipulation, no smoking pot in the car. Seth rattles off their anachronistic tour stops like a Scorsese Movie Monologue, “There was Brendan Byrne Arena, Giant’s Stadium, The Garden, Nassau, The Spectrum, The Knick, then ya got New Haven or Hartford, Springfield, Boston Garden, Providence, Portland…” Somewhere around Buffalo there was a mutiny on the smoking ban, but they finally made it to Mountain View. “Peter loved Shoreline” Seth says tenderly.

Hanson was an ardent Brent fan, who would happily debate any Pigpen loyalist looking for a fight. “But Peter liked a good heartfelt Jerry, almost-crying ballad like China Doll or Morning Dew” Rich remembers, “That sticks out to me. Him really connecting with Jerry during those Soulful Moments.”

That’s What Love Will Make You Do

While in grad school at Boston University, Peter met Sue Kim; a beautiful Korean American doctoral candidate in micro-biology immunology. She was doing HIV/AIDS research and hoped a cure would be discovered in her lifetime. “Peter knew he was going to marry Sue the first moment he saw her and Sue was the same way.” older sister Kathy smiles, “They were so good for each other.” Peter cut his dreads, became Vice President of Sales at a software company, and bought a 4-bedroom Colonial where he learned how to grow roses. American Beauties, of course.

The two were married and in 1999 Christine Lee Hanson came into this world. Born in the year of the rabbit, she was characteristically compassionate, quick, and kind. The house was still filled with music, but sometimes Barton Hall was usurped by Barney. “Oh, she never stopped with that song. It was ‘I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family’ all day long!” Kathy says exasperated.

A Pinch of Grace

In a post Jerry era, the tightknit tour crew saw less of each other. There were The Other Ones, Phil and Friends, RatDog, Planet Drum and Tuesday Nights at The Wetlands. But there were also deadlines and depositions, wives, kids and 401k contributions. The old wagon had been traded in for a more sophisticated sedan (where the no smoking rule was actually enforced).

Spring 2001, Seth, his wife Amy, and their shepherd-mix Sadie drove from New Jersey where he practiced law, to the Hanson’s home in Massachusetts. “From Christine’s perspective, we were secondary attractions” Seth jokes, “She told her class at school that ‘a doggy was coming to visit her for the weekend.’” The families enjoyed soundboard tapes, three-pound lobsters, and the laughter of old friends.

Hanson was set to be a groomsman in Trent’s wedding September 21st, the tuxedo fitting was in late August. “Aaannnddd we got in a little bit of trouble” Trent admits, “We went to a bar and had some drinks, we sat down by a river and talked for a while. It was awesome.” Though Sue, and Trent’s fiancé Megan didn’t think so. He imitates their voices, “How long does that actually take? You knuckleheads. Who’s making dinner?! We have the baby here!”

Labor Day Weekend the extended Hanson Family gathered at an aunt’s house on the cape. As they were preparing to leave, Peter and Kathy went for a walk in shallow ocean water. He said to her, “Promise if anything happens to me, you’ll always take care of Mommy.” She shrugged it off, “Shut up, what are you talking about, I’m older than you.” His tone shifted, “Listen to me, Kath, you have to promise you will always take care of Mommy.” “It sent shivers down my spine” Kathy confesses, “I said, ‘Of course, Pete, I’ll take care of mommy. And daddy too. Why wouldn’t I?’”

The scene back at the car was equally as odd, “My girls were crying, Christine was crying, all the cousins” Kathy remembers, “And we’re laughing at them like, Oh my God, they’re acting like they’re never going to see each other again.”

The following weekend, Lee and Eunice marveled at the 30 trees Peter had planted on his property, Sue’s dedication to motherhood, and Christine’s evolving vocabulary. Now 2½ years old she excitedly declared, “Nana, I’m going to see Mickey Mouse!” As they were leaving Lee told Christine he loved her, to which she said, “I love you too Papa.” He replied, “Aren’t we lucky to love each other?”

You Know He Don’t Take Long

The morning of September 11th, 2001, Trent was in his driveway in Connecticut, digging a trench for a waterline. “And I hear whistling of a plane, that was just banking so hard, way too low in the sky, a huge jet” he recounts in a weighty tenor, “And I’m like ‘That was weird. What is that about?’”

Lee and Eunice were eating breakfast. They wondered if Christine was enjoying her first time on an airplane. Peter had a business trip to California that would conclude with a family day at Disney. Just then, the phone rang. It was Peter. Frantic. “Dad, we’ve been hijacked…I think they’ve taken over the cockpit” he yelled, “Call United. Tell them it’s flight 175, Boston to LA.” Lee called local authorities who instructed him to turn on the news.

The phone rang again at 9am. This time Peter spoke softly, “It’s getting bad, Dad…I think they intend to go to Chicago or someplace and fly into a building…Don’t worry, Dad, if it happens, it’ll be very fast.”

Three minutes later Lee and Eunice watched on TV as a Boeing 767 slammed into the World Trade Center’s South Tower. As it burst into flames Eunice screamed out, “No! My kids are on that plane. This isn’t real, this isn’t real!”

Within a half hour local and state police, FBI and CIA were in the elder Hansons living room. Kathy remembers, “It was just a nightmare. My dad still had the phone in his hand. Even though we knew they were on the plane, he was waiting for Peter to call again. Ya know, you start bargaining…”

Sing Sweet Songs to Rock My Soul

The New York Times ran nearly 3,000 remembrances, among them:

There were no caskets, or answers, or available seats at the funeral. Attendees spilled out of the church onto the sidewalk where Christine’s Pre-K class scuttled out of a yellow school bus, with sippy cups in hand. “It was one of most beautiful, heartbreaking things I have ever seen.” Kathy says sadly. Seth, who had been Peter’s best man, was asked to give the eulogy. In part he said, “Peter loved New York, but not on any ordinary day. It had to be the day after Thanksgiving — the most crowded of the year. I would tell him that he was crazy. His response, ‘no way, you don’t know what you’re missing. It’s so great being there with all the people and the energy — that’s the best time to be in New York.’ If Pete had to be involved in this situation, then it had to be right at its center.”

The whole congregation sang Eyes of The World and the Barney Theme Song. “We’re a happy family” hit different this time. No one, not even the pastor, could hold back their tears. Kathy looks off into space. “They were soulmates. If they had to go, then it had to be together. I wouldn’t want them to go through what we’ve been through all these years.”

Lee went to Logan Airport to retrieve Peter’s sensible sedan. He thought about everything and nothing and the last conversation with his granddaughter. “Aren’t we lucky to love each other?” When he put the key in the ignition he wasn’t surprised to hear Jerry on full blast, but he couldn’t believe the words. He asked Trent about it, repeating the lyrics, “It’s nothing you can stop, Lord, you know they made a fine connection. So what is that song called?” “It’s called They Love Each Other, Lee!” Trent exclaimed. Lee paused for a moment before saying, “I know you guys should have the Grateful Dead tapes but I’d like to keep that one.”

This Darkness Got To Give

The elder Hansons answering machine beeped incessantly. Eunice braced for another insensitive news outlet, abrasive government agency, or technician with DNA swab details. But for once, it wasn’t any of those. It was Grateful Dead Drummer Mickey Hart extending his sympathies and asking for advice.

25 years later, Hart remembers, “You know, 9/11 is my birthday, and I was supposed to have a party that day here at my home. I woke up in the morning, turned on the tv, saw it live as it was going down, and I couldn’t believe it. Of course, I never thought of the party after that, and no one showed up.”

A few days later Mickey was reading a newspaper when he learned of Peter Hanson and his family. He recalls, “I saw that he was a Deadhead, that caught my eye. He’s part of our community, part of our extended family.”

Hart was ahead of his time when he posted to his own dot com, “Today I spoke with Peter Hanson’s family — Peter, a longtime Deadhead who perished along with his wife, Sue and only daughter Christine, on Flight 175 on Tuesday. He was one of the passengers who was brave enough to call his father twice on his cell phone during the hijacking. After talking with his parents Lee and Eunice Hanson, I am convinced that our music must go…”

That Saturday evening in San Francisco, Mickey Hart, Hamza El Din and Greg Ellis took the stage for the “Music in Schools” benefit. He spoke to the crowd, “I was walking around my home, and I was wondering should we play this night, should we not play it. We haven’t buried our dead. We haven’t grieved fully yet. Should music be a part of our lives. Well, music is the antidote for hatred. It’s our dreams our sorrows, our joys, our family. It’s really everything that is dear to us, and I wouldn’t want someone to take that away from us.”

September 2026, Mickey elaborates, “Hatred’s a bad rhythm. A good rhythm is the opposite of hate, that’s love. So music is more of a love thing. Music raises your consciousness. It uplifts the spirit. Without community, there could be no music. Music needs a community to serve, and a community needs its music. It works both ways.”

Hart dedicated the evening’s performance to everyone affected, and continued by saying, “And especially to the fallen members of our fateful deadhead family…Peter and Sue Kim Hanson, and their daughter Christine…we send all our love and thoughts to their family and loved ones…”

Listen to the audio: Mickey Hart & Friends — live, 9/15/2001 (SoundCloud)

To Do For You, To See You Through

Peter’s friends were urban professionals prescribed antibiotics to protect against Anthrax. Even The Wetlands had closed. Would there ever be anything to smile about ever again?

Then rumblings of Mickey’s call and dedication spread over landlines, Blackberries and AOL instant messages. Seth shares, “The Grateful Dead were and are, a pretty dominant force in our lives. And so, for Pete’s parents to have, Mickey Hart, a member of the band take the time to find a way to call them up to offer his condolences directly, was an incredibly meaningful thing. I think it showed them that what their son had been telling them about, what he dedicated so much of his life to, was real.”

“I just can’t imagine what they must’ve been going through. I wanted them to know that there was some support out there, from something that he loved, in this horrible, amazingly excruciating time.” Mickey says softly, “It’s gratifying to know that it meant so much to them. It meant a lot to me too.”

Ah, Mother American Night

Author and historian Dennis McNally was part of the press and production team that evening at The Herbst Theater. He looks back, “The Grateful Dead’s music is a synthesis of almost all American (and a few non-American) music forms. Socially, the Grateful Dead subculture is the most visible manifestation in the past sixty years of the very old American tradition of free thought, individualism, and spiritual experimentation. Everyone knows a Dead Head, and the epigram ‘We Are Everywhere’ is, quite simply, true. This of course applies to the dark memory of 9/11/2001, and why Mickey Hart felt moved to reach out to the family of Peter Hanson. As he acknowledged, music heals. It helps channel grief into more manageable channels, and thus allows us to carry on. For me, remembering 9/11 is best served by acknowledging the government overreach and attack on civil liberties in its response to the horrible events. We can best resist fanatics and hate with trust and love for one another.”

Lee’s account of Peter’s phone calls can be found in the 9/11 Commission Report. Though his health was failing, he traveled to Guantanamo Bay Cuba, to testify in the terrorism trials.

Trent was on his honeymoon abroad when the US declared war. Air travel into the states was fraught with fear and uncertainty. Finally back home, he kissed the tarmac at JFK as fellow passengers sang, “God Bless America.”

Kathy returned to school to become a hospice nurse, “I wanted to learn everything I could, to help other families” she says with a courageous resolve.

Rich’s son attends Northeastern University, where the newest generation of deadheads, listens to MP3s of Uncle Pete’s tapes.

“It was my wife, Amy’s idea” Seth says, with a lump in his throat, “She wanted our daughter’s middle name to be Hanson. To honor all of them.”

At the 9/11 Museum and Memorial, docent and youth educator Vernoy Paolini shares, “There are 2.5 million visitors annually. Being one of the only full family lost in the attacks, and Christine the youngest victim makes The Hansons of special interest to young visitors and their families.” She pauses, “And did I tell you, every year on 9/11 someone puts Grateful Dead bears and roses in their names?”